It is a very rare Monday when I don’t find myself in the office.Yesterday was Amy’s birthday and I happened not to have any appointments during the day, so I saw it as an opportunity to enjoy some time with my bride.We’ve reached that stage in marriage where we don’t need some exciting, centralized activity to make our togetherness valuable.She is valuable to me and I had a great day holding her hand in the mall, eating a breakfast bagel with her along with coffee and orange juice and then herding two very rambunctious children to a local eatery for a birthday supper.It was a great Monday.
Risking some transparency with you, however, I want to write that I felt sin crouching at the door all day yesterday (Genesis 4:7).I told Amy how weary I was of the large storefront ads in the mall of women wearing next to nothing. Forty years ago there would have been a boycott of stores showing those kinds of ads. She and I have talked about how it will be when it comes time to train our boy in how to fight the natural impulses to want to view the forbidden.Sin has pounced for generations and Landon's future will not be exempt. At the restaurant that evening I saw a well dressed businessman sitting at the bar enjoying a beer;when I felt the long-dormant impulse to consider whether or not I would ever enjoy a beer again, I was troubled because – as most of you know – alcohol ruined me from age fourteen unto twenty-four. Later, we went to a local electronics store to see about picking up a laptop for one of Meadow’s staff members.All around me were shiny, expensive things screaming out that they would make me happier if I bought them.Sin had gone from crouching at the door to pounding its fist and wanting to come inside.
Looking back this morning, I realized that part of the equation was that I was physically exhausted.I arose Sunday at 3:30 AM and worked non-stop until 10:00 PM at the church in order to have a clear shot at not being backlogged with work when I came back in to the office today.My body and mind were tired and I did not have the continuity of a rested spirit, body and intellect.Sin (as a very real force) is more powerful in its sway when we are not rested inwardly or physically.God’s grace, no doubt, is sufficient but I still tremble at the fact that my mind can acknowledge something as being wrong while some misaligned part of me desires to have it.The reality of Romans 7:15-24 still occasionally exists and I would wish to declare that it exists anywhere but in me.
I got back to the office early this morning and found myself longing for my prayer chair.I have an oversized green chair – rather comfortable – that I pray in each morning when I’m here.I knew I needed to be in it this morning before doing anything else.I didn’t read my Bible, peruse a devotional or anything else.I got to my chair and sat still before God.Examining my heart is always first on my list during prayer.Confession and repentance must be employed before petition and intercession can be effective.I struggled in my mind to formulate the right words...distractions sought to enter in...feelings of unworthiness washed over me.Clearly my enemy was sitting in the other chair next to me and he was whispering words of accusation my way.For two-thirds of my prayer time I really toiled.Finally, God’s grace penetrated deeply into my heart/mind and I sensed a breakthrough being given to me.Thanksgiving began to pour forth, the accusations fell silent, the affirmation from Heaven took root and I sensed God’s desire to shepherd me today.It was not that I wondered if He were present, it was that I could not be content resting in my theology of His omnipresence…I wanted that blessed nearness.
I closed my prayers with a grateful ‘Amen’ and before I could get to my feet, I heard a soft female voice declare from across the room, “Virus database has been updated.”No, I was not losing my mind – my antivirus software had completed its weekly download at the precise moment when I was finishing my prayers.Twenty seconds earlier it would have been another distraction.Being right on time, however, I took some encouragement from what she said.I even preached to myself for a minute:
“Jeff, spiritual sickness was seeking to take you over yesterday.You were even vulnerable this morning.God was working to prepare you against all previous threats and to equip you for the vile viruses that will threaten you today.The database is secure – you have what you need!Go on and walk with him in victory and confidence.No weapon formed against you will prosper.Serve Him with gladness!”
It may sound a little odd – but some days you’ll take encouragement wherever you can get it!
"For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever.He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries." - Psalm 112:6-8 {ESV}
People learn to be afraid.We are not born with a plethora of fears - we learn them as we grow.Scientists tell us that humans are born with only two innate fears: fear of loud noises and fear of falling.Any and all other fears come to us by way of some form of conditioning.It is noteworthy that as a child grows in her awareness she also grows in her ability to experience fear.It was not until my daughter, Alicia, was about eight years old that she began wanting to sleep with some form of light streaming into her room.When I questioned her reason she informed me that a commercial had frightened her and that the hallway light made her feel safe.While the majority of those who are grown don't fear the dark when they lay down to sleep, we are still prone to carry around with us other things that cause us to feel anxious.You have yours, I have mine.
Some people fear dying.Still others fear living another day.Some people are afraid of becoming poor; their whole lives are spent in a frenzy trying to accumulate just enough to put them at inward ease.I have spent time with people who are afraid of losing the vigor and beauty of their youth.I have found myself fearing for my children's future in a world that may one day look nothing like it does to me now.Who will take care of them if I cannot?The thought of failure immobilizes many so that they never attempt anything great.Some with secret sins fear being discovered.There is the fear of commitment among many men who remain single until they are fifty.I used to fear losing my hair - now I fear losing my mind!
There are intimidating things all around us and when we focus upon them we become their servant.That is why we are exhorted many times in the Bible to place our confidence in God himself.When we master this ability, though we still experience the feelings of fear, they cannot own the title to our hearts.
Faith moves mountains, fear magnifies them.
I used to think I lived with a level of faith that rarely allowed for the experience of fear.Looking back I often wonder whether it was true faith or simply the fact that God was allowing me to walk uncontested so that I would learn what it is to experience His presence in those early days.For the last few years there has rarely been a week when there was not some looming issue in my life which taunted me.People, circumstances, spiritual adversaries, physical weakness...they have all been sent to instruct me at various times.On good days I know just how to relegate them to their appropriate places.On lesser days, when I forget the greatness of my God, these difficulties appear larger than life itself.Christians must learn the diligence of cultivating confidence in the promises and presence of God.Believe me, if your faith is genuine then it will most definitely be tested.In order for the muscle of faith to grow, it must be flexed.In order for it to flex, it must be resisted.Every occasion to tremble is actually an opportunity for triumph, and the followers of Christ have the unique empowerment to overcome with a fixated faith in the Person of Christ.
Trust hurdles over obstacles, trepidation constructs them.
My challenges are great during this season of my life.Truth be known, I crave a break from it all.Yet God has called us to be soldiers and we grunts don't give the Captain orders.He knows the terrain;He establishes the objectives.He situates each soldier (including you) and equips them accordingly.His strategy will not be subverted, His destination cannot be undershot.His presence is the light in the doorway when we lay down to sleep, so we need not fear what lurks in the shadows.His care for you is impossible to describe - let us be still, know that He is God, and wait for His greatness.
I stated above that we learn to fear by some form of conditioning.We also learn faith by that same process.Let us be vigilant to discern what is conditioning us this very day for the experience of salvation's joy is hinged to it.
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